we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
