i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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