Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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