Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
