fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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