so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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