I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
