Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You ruined the universe
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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