is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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