what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
