She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
