One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
