She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
