I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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