Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
