So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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