Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
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I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So vagazzling was a success
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
