Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
