Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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