I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
