How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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