Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
