making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
