She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
