I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
