make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
