ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
