plz talk dirty to me
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize