Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
are you so shy because you have an std?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
