shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
