the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
