I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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