Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
