Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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