Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
