Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
