Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
