just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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