Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize