hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize