He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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