I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize