so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
