yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize