i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
