I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
