OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
