Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
