He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize