Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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