You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
