Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
