six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
