Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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