You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
