Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
