i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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